Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 165 Characters
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 149 Characters
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 162 Characters
A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 115 Characters
Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 193 Characters
Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 127 Characters
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 109 Characters
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 166 Characters
Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 139 Characters
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 237 Characters
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 148 Characters
Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 147 Characters
Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 208 Characters
Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 138 Characters
Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 144 Characters
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 94 Characters
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 145 Characters
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 158 Characters
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 114 Characters
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 162 Characters
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 113 Characters
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 153 Characters
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada deyo, mera vyah ho gaya hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyaan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 138 Characters
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 96 Characters
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 165 Characters
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 112 Characters
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 157 Characters
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 149 Characters
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 186 Characters
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 133 Characters
Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 180 Characters
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 123 Characters
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 135 Characters
An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 126 Characters
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 170 Characters
Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 124 Characters
Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time santa asks: "behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?" Girl: "Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 199 Characters
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 151 Characters
Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : I am falling in love.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 109 Characters
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 163 Characters
Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 152 Characters
Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 162 Characters
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 132 Characters
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 151 Characters
Santa's urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, "you are pregnant".
Angry santa shouts at wife, "Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de".
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 180 Characters
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 175 Characters
Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 177 Characters
Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 139 Characters
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 143 Characters
Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?"
Banta: "B.A."
Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 104 Characters
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 118 Characters
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 178 Characters
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 87 Characters
Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 138 Characters
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 131 Characters
Santa's shayari: Kutta marr gaya razai vich, main pagal ho gaya teri judai vich, fernail te machchar beh nahi sakda, main tere bina hun reh nahi sakda.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 151 Characters
Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 132 Characters
Teacher to santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 157 Characters
Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 234 Characters
Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 139 Characters
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 158 Characters
Santa: Mein tere 64 de 64 dand todd dene hai.
Ik hor aadmi ne keha santa 64 nahi 32 Dand hunde ne.
Santa: Meinu patta se tu vi bolega is layi tere vi gin laye ne.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 166 Characters
Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu
keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ?
Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 162 Characters
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 145 Characters
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 102 Characters
Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 144 Characters
Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 158 Characters
What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 159 Characters
To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 140 Characters
I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 159 Characters
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 99 Characters
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 125 Characters
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 102 Characters
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 102 Characters
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 168 Characters
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 132 Characters
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 164 Characters
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 137 Characters
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 94 Characters
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 154 Characters
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 102 Characters
Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 81 Characters
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 74 Characters
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 156 Characters
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 137 Characters
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 94 Characters
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 95 Characters
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 156 Characters
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 96 Characters
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 141 Characters
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 126 Characters
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 163 Characters
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 94 Characters
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 144 Characters
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 160 Characters
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 143 Characters
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
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